Looking for the gratitude…

… and honestly, I shouldn’t feel like it’s hard to feel, but I sort of do.

Our cat almost strangled to death yesterday.  He would have, if we hadn’t been home.  We were.  Kitty is alive and OK.  Thankful.

My mother was admitted to the hospital yesterday.  She’s stable and my brother is with her.  My job affords me the luxury of being able to work from anywhere when necessary so I go to relive him on Tuesday.  Thankful.

We were in a car wreck today.  A split second difference and I think my husband would have been killed.  Instead no one was hurt. Thankful.

And I am thankful.  I’m also inexplicably sad.  I have been for a week and I can’t shake it.

I think I need time to myself – time for journaling and centering.  We’ve had a tough few years and maybe it’s all just hitting home.

I am exploring the Desire Map again.  I don’t think I’ve ever completely abandoned it – but it definitely hasn’t been first and foremost in my mind over the past few years.  But it is now.  I still like my core desired feelings (CDF) – especially the wrapper one: Sublimely Satisfied.  I’m working on fine tuning.  Peace and Serenity floating to the top a lot.

One of the things that hit me with a rush when my new Desire Map Planner arrived is that instead of asking What Will I Do to Feel the Way I Want to Feel?  I should be asking – What will I eat to feel the way I want to feel?  And when I ask that question – I do make better choices.  And then there was a better question to ask – HOW will I eat to feel the way I want to eat?

Being grateful.  Being mindful.  Accepting the funk with the joy. Yeah -that’s going to be my focus this month.

 

 

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About Maura

an erstwhile former weight management blogger writing about life without diet should's and should not's filter.
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2 Responses to Looking for the gratitude…

  1. Zazzy says:

    November-December is a hard time for many of us. I’ve been discussing with some friends that for us, a lot of the problem are the expectations. We’re all supposed to be joyous and excited while, at least for my little group of friends, the holiday season is mostly about stress and difficult memories. It sounds like it has been a really stressful week for you. I’m glad your cat and you and your husband are okay and hope that your mother recovers quickly.

  2. Maura says:

    Thanks, Zazzy. My mom is back at home and dh’s car will be soon.

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