Heart is Not Here

I haven’t thought much about this blog in a while – my heart certainly isn’t up to regularly posting  here.

Life’s milestones make one pause and consider what’s important.  My father died on May 24th of this year.  He was 83 and up until last summer, he enjoyed reasonably good health and a happy lifestyle for someone his age.  At least this is the story I’m sticking to so I don’t get lost in anger at the healthcare industry.

The circumstances of my father’s death are exhausting  – lots of travel, lots of frayed nerves, lots of suppressed emotion.  I’m still suppressing it.

I’m still not eating well. I’m still not moving.  I’m still not journaling.  I’d like to say that at least I’m not obsessed about it – but sometimes I am.  Just less so.

I realize I sound depressed and disconnected.  Perhaps I am.   But I was becoming this way well before my father died.   The thing is – I’m not worried about it. I have the tools to deal with the depression and I’m reconnecting with life in the ways that mean more to me now.  And for now, social media, including my own blog, has little appeal to me.

I don’t know if I’ll post again or not.  I’m not shutting the blog down.  But I’m certainly not going to beat myself up for going months without a post.

Thanks to everyone who has been reading and all the support offered.  I wish you all the best – and perhaps we will reconnect here at a later time.

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About Maura

an erstwhile former weight management blogger writing about life without diet should's and should not's filter.
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4 Responses to Heart is Not Here

  1. Snoskred says:

    I was just checking through my folders and saw your blog name and I thought it had been a while since I saw a post from you, so I dropped by to check in. Glad to hear that you are still with us. Deeply sorry to hear of the loss of your Dad. 😦

    If and when you do choose to return to blogging, I will see the posts, I am subscribed to your blog via my feed reader. Until then, stay safe, and I’ll be keeping a good thought for you. 🙂

    • Maura says:

      Snoskred, thank you. My dad was a special man and I’m very grateful that he didn’t suffer any more than he did.

      I am thinking of returning to the blog. Not sure what my ‘theme’ will be – if any. Randomness will ensue.

  2. Zazamataz says:

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your father. It sounds like the circumstances made it even more difficult. I have no wise words, just thinking of you.

    If and when you want to check in here, or on my blog, I’ll likely still be around. I hope you have some good real life support. Do take care of you.

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