First off – a shout out to Zazzy: Wishing you a speedy recovery and more steps forward than backwards.
March is something of a blur. It started with my being way over ambitious and completing my hardest Leslie Sansone DVD. 60 fast minutes. It felt great. Then it didn’t.
Then there was Daylight Savings Time. I’ll go on the record here: I hate it. Normally, I don’t feel any physical impacts. I did this year.
Then there’s being ‘on’ for two weeks straight while I trained my new employee. I totally crashed and burned 2 weekends ago.
I ignored buzzes to get up and moved. I tracked – NOTHING. I was consistently inconsistent. At least I was consistent about it.
So – hubby makes this over reaching remark last night that set my head to spinning:
Obesity is a symptom of mental illness
As I said – over reaching. But wait. I’ve been depressed – synapses don’t fire correctly in the brain. Could it be that synapses aren’t firing when it comes to the simple act of not over-eating?
I’m not a scientist, nor have I taken any psychology courses. This is just me thinking out loud:
Early on in life, I was instructed that my body could never be right. How many times did I hear “You can’t possibly be hungry. Don’t eat that.” So – hungry or not, I was told my body was wrong.
Then the diet industry told me to ignore my body’s cues.
Boy howdy – did I ever ignore them. Eating when not hungry, eating behind hunger. Year after year after year. Is it possible that by so many years of ignoring my body’s hunger and satiation cues, that I’ve damaged the synapses that lead to eating when hungry and stopping when sated? And if so – what to do about it? THERE IS NO MAGIC PILL!
But depression (at least the kind I have) can be managed with – you guessed it – discipline. Discipline to stick to routines that work. When I feel the darkness creeping in – I return to certain routines that are essential for me – journalling and walking. The very act of returning to these routines turns the darkness away.
Is there a way to establish routines that will honor my body’s cues? I honor my body’s cue to pee when I need to pee. Sleep when I need to sleep (I try to do this anyway), etc. What routines can I establish to help me stop the autopilot actions that totally dishonor my body?
Right now – I’m actually thinking of trying to create automatic response to “I want to eat” – something like:
Autopilot: I want to eat.
Response to Auto pilot: Do you need to pee?
Auto pilot: WTF?
Response to Auto pilot: Got your attention, sucker! Now – are you really hungry?
Auto pilot: Um, no.
Response to Auto pilot: So, what do you really want to do.
Auto Pilot is silent and…
My authentic self decides what it is I want to do. Not a conditioned response.
I think my husband is on to something, to be honest. I’m KNOW there are correlations between obesity and depression. But treating just the depression does not mean the weight will just fall off. But perhaps a similar approach – routines, etc., can help.