Perhaps I’ve been resisting…

… the knowledge that I need a plan and some accountability to stick to the plan.

While i have no desire whatsoever to let my weight and weight management efforts be the sole focus of my life ever again – I am not happy with my weight and how I feel.  So what I’m doing isn’t really working.  (Maybe because I’m not really doing anything?)

I have one main resistance to having a plan: my husband’s sensibilities.  He hates planning and furthermore he hates planning healthy meals.  He wants to eat what he wants when he wants and he’s lost 20+ lbs in the last year doing just that.  I don’t like upsetting the apple cart.  We

And I have other areas where I resist taking care of myself – lots of roadblocks excuses:

  • Too much to do at work to stop and take care of myself
  • DH’s time sensibilities (this one is hard, actually)
  • My own time sensibilities and priorities

Hmm, I think Priority is a word that nails my own excuses.  I put almost everything in front of my own personal well-being.  Not just external stuff (work and DH) but my own stuff as well.

I also need to respect that this is where I am right now.  Some of it I need to nudge back to a better balance.  But nudge is the best way I think.

For me to feel the way I want to feel (I’ve been struggling with the Core Desired Feelings this week), I know I need to do the following:

  1. Journal consistently – pen and paper
  2. Gently move consistently – Barre3 and I seem to have made friends
  3. Eat in a way that makes me smile – what my body needs with a little thrown in to make my tastebuds thank me and only until I’m no longer hungry.

To make these more specific goals:

  1. Get up before DH and journal every morning.  What do I need to do this?  Plant my journal downstairs, find a way to wake before him without waking him, and then just start doing it.  Just thinking – maybe a get pretty box or closed basket big enough to hold my journal, pen and a candle. I can put this box on the shelf of the end table by the sofa.  Then I journal downstairs without bothering DH and also get myself a cup a tea.  Basically recreate the journal ambiance I created for myself when I lived alone and journaled almost every day.
  2. Moving more.  This will take discipline and I think I also need to change it up so that I’m not just doing Barre 3.  I love to dance to funk (usually after 1-2 glasses of wine).  There’s no reason why a couple times a week I can’t queue up Prince and others and dance for a bit.  Bonus – this will promote my desire to feel sexy.
  3. I truly do not want to log calories.  Perhaps I should take a picture of my meals – have I laid them out in a way that makes me smile?  Are they yummy and good for me?  I made baked oatmeal last week (recipe from MFD) and unfortunately, as good as it was, it did not make my body smile.  I ate it every day and each day into the week, my digestive system became more and more wonky.  So – back to a better plan for breakfasts.  Not sure what it will be yet.  And I’m thinking of salads for lunches at work and soups for when I’m working from home. Pretty salads.  Lots of lean protein, veggies (we eat a lot of steamed broccoli – I can make extra to put on the salads) and of course greens.  Anyway – food need to be easy.  And I’m working on it.

OK – we have the making of a plan.  Howe do I make myself accountable?  Honestly blogging here every day will not happen.  I love my blog and it is not a daily priority.  I think I will start a “How did you do today?” thread on MFD and use that for accountability.

Speaking of MFD, it’s amazing how much that site has changed but not changed.  The forums used to be so active I found them overwhelming.  Now – they seems very hit or miss.  I’m not sure I truly fit in – but that could be just me.  I know one thing – there are posters on there who are undermining (not deliberately of course) my resolution to not buy any more self-help books this year.

That’s it for now.  Need to think about groceries and a meal plan for the week.

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About Maura

an erstwhile former weight management blogger writing about life without diet should's and should not's filter.
This entry was posted in Core Desired Feelings. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Perhaps I’ve been resisting…

  1. ProjectME says:

    Maura, this post was very real IMO. I didn’t feel like you were blaming (dh), but simply stating facts. Having said that … I’ve always known and felt that having the support of the other person in your household is key. I’ve struggled back and forth because I always told myself that ultimately I’m responsible for what I put in my mouth. However … It takes a whole ‘nother level of resolve when the person in your life cooks and eats what they want without regard for your wants and needs.

    I know you don’t want to upset the apple cart, and I’m really not sure what the proper approach is. But dh needs to be mindful of your wants and needs. Period. I feel so strongly about this because I face the same challenges. Right now, my hubby is being supportive and it has made the world of difference. Anyway sorry if I’m being intrusive, I just felt compelled to share my thoughts :).

    I really like your thoughts on journaling and movement. I think you are onto something real.

    I believe in you Maura – you can do this! Xoxo

    • Maura says:

      Thanks, Becky. No – you’re not intruding. I opened the door by bringing it up. DH actually believes he is supporting me. And he’s incredibly opinionated and stubborn. Sometimes – only sometimes – it seems he has no respect for me or my needs. However, that is changing slowly.

      Right now, I’ve decided to make everything I can control as “clean” as possible. And that WILL make a huge impact Once he sees me returning to a happier and healthier weight, I think he’ll be less apt to whine about the time it takes or that I need to eat a bit more lightly. Actually, this has already started. I put it bluntly to him that I needed to eat more lightly during the day since we’re having dinners. He needs very nutritionally dense meals right now (he’s lost at least 10lbs too much and has no appetite) so he might put on some weight And we do eat dinner together. And we share the same meal. So – for now, I make my calories during the day count – lots of nutrition, but not so many calories. (Can we say veggies?) And at dinner, I need to remember to eat to smile – in other words a clean plate is not necessary if I’m satisifed.

      This is not ideal but I think it will work for now.

      I’m so glad your hubby is being supportive. It does make a huge difference!

      Thanks for your support, Becky.

  2. Zazamataz says:

    I’ve struggled with how to respond. I get what you’re saying and I think I’m in much the same place. I need to make and follow through with practical goals instead of staying here in the theoretical and I am really resistant. I like the work you’re doing and it sounds like you have a good handle on what you need to do for you.

    One small thought – I have had the non-supportive person in my life. I suppose that everyone has at some point. The thing is, I thought that everything would be smooth sailing when he wasn’t there anymore and I found instead I was using his garbage as an excuse for not doing what I didn’t really want to do anyway. No idea whether that plays a role in your situation but it might be something to consider.

  3. Maura says:

    Zazzy, I know I’ve used my husband’s sensibilities as an excuse to just not even try. I’m just not willing to do that any more. Thanks for your comments.

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