Core Desired Feelings In Action

I’m no where near through reading the Desire Map and working through the exercises.  However, I decided that didn’t matter and started where I was (Thank you, Pema Chodron).

I tend to segment my feelings – this is how I want to feel at work, and this is how I want to feel everywhere else.  I need to marry that, but again, I’m starting where I am.

So – yesterday morning, I took some quiet time (during work hours, thank you very much) and quickly thought about how I wanted to feel at work and what that meant to me.

The Desired Feelings – At Work:

  • Trust
  • Value
  • Competence

Then I wrote about what those feelings meant to me and what I needed to do to feel them.  Then I sat down and made my To Do list  – with the priority on the activities and tasks that would make me feel trust.

Halfway through the day, I realized I left out a really important feeling: healthy.   Interesting that.  I don’t focus on my health while at work. Why is that? Is my health not important?  Is that why it is so easy for me to ignore boundaries and indulge in less than healthy behaviors?

Yes – actually.  I realize that I have always put career first – above all else.  And here I am today.  Overweight and under-careered.

My boss is the polar opposite.  She is incredibly health focused as well as career focused.  She is able to stick to her priority of taking care of her health before taking care of work.  And when she’s taking care of work – she’s really taking care of it.  I think I have a lot to learn from her.

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About Maura

an erstwhile former weight management blogger writing about life without diet should's and should not's filter.
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3 Responses to Core Desired Feelings In Action

  1. Zazamataz says:

    I’ve been thinking about this and it seems to me that you would naturally want to feel different things at home and at work. We’re different people, in some ways, in different settings. I might want to feel assertive and confident at work but that might be less important to me at home. It doesn’t surprise me that you might leave off things like feeling healthy from your work goals – because that’s a new way of thinking. And it sounds like an important insight for you.

    • Maura says:

      Thanks, Zazzy. When I first took the Meyers-Briggs personality test many years ago, I was taking it for work so I geared my answers as if I were at work. I’m an INTP – at work. At home and pretty much the rest of my life, I’m an INFP. At work, I tend to be more thinking about what desired results are instead of how people feel about it. In the rest of my life, I am usually much more concerned about feelings. What I’ve learned is that in the T/F part of the Meyers-Briggs, I’m really close to the middle on both. I don’t sway on the I N or P parts. 🙂

      So it didn’t surprise me that I separated how I want to feel at work vs the rest of the time. There are some overlapping desired feelings, but there are some that I don’t care about at home and do at work. And vice versa. However, health and vitality are key to both worlds and I think its important that I include setting health as a desired feeling when I work on my to do lists and goals.

      • Zazamataz says:

        The last time I took some internet version of the Meyers-Briggs, I swayed from an INFP to an INTP which felt very weird to me. I just blamed the version but perhaps where I am at emotionally reflects in that change.

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