In my last post, I mentioned a Lifehacker idea to write in detail what an average perfect day would look like. I think I morphed the idea into something else.. but here’s the list I made (I love lists!)
- Being accepting of stress
- Being loving towards myself, my husband and my family
- Being confident in my abilities
- Being confident and happy in my body
- Being confident in how I present myself (in other words – great clothes, shoes and hair)
- Waking refreshed
- Being part of a real – local and long distance – support network of like-minded girlfriends
- Making lovely meals and enjoying them with friends and family
- Maintaining a peaceful environment
- Filling my life with activities I love vs what people tell me I should be doing
- And having no desire for self-help books
And I think that last item on the list is actually the most important. I can’t begin to tally (I don’t want to tally) the amount of money I’ve spent on self-help books. Most of them geared towards weight loss, but some geared towards making a better life, etc. You know – I think I’m done with this. 1) I rarely read the books from cover to cover and 2) I obviously rarely implement any of the suggestions. Whenever I purchase the latest and greatest self-help book, I’m wasting valuable time and money. And worse – I’m telling myself I need fixing. And I don’t need to be fixed. I’m perfectly fine the way I am.
And there are some things I’d like to change.
- My environments (my home office, my bathroom, my office at work) become cluttered and subconsciously stressful all too easily. I feel better when there is no clutter.
- I haven’t felt confident or happy in my body in a long time. This has taken a toll on my self-esteem and in some ways, my marriage. I feel better when I intentionally incorporate movement and healthy eating in my life. And when I feel better, I have more confidence.
- I don’t have a real-life support network. I have some girlfriends at work. But we don’t interact with one another outside of work nor can I be totally open with them about everything going on with me. My husband use to work there so discretion takes precedence. I miss having girl friends and I need to find a way to remedy that. It’s hard because I’m naturally shy and something of an introvert.
- I still feel that I’ve attached myself to certain labels: stressed, someone who needs to lose weight, etc. In my ‘fake it til I make it’ goal, I said I wanted to be someone who managed stress. 1) I totally did not fake it til I made it and 2) I think that’s the wrong goal. I think becoming accepting that stress is a natural part of my life will be far more helpful than learning to practice deep breathing. Not that deep breathing a bad thing. So I being more accepting of things will help me in the long run. I accept that stress is in my life. I accept that eating with abandon (with lots of guilt thrown in) doesn’t work for me. And there’s going to be a post next weekend about that last sentence. I think it merits some more thought.
So – this is where I am now: I’m being accepting of the changes I need to make. And that removes quite a bit of the stress.