And buying really bad (thankfully cheap) weight loss advice books. And even binge eating. That behavior had stopped. Or maybe it hadn’t.
Dammit – I KNOW what to do.
It’s about setting and respecting boundaries, not saying “oh what the hell”. It’s about self-respect vs self-medication. About working through the roadblocks, not using them as excuses. It’s about loving myself out of the quagmire of despair and denial I’ve slipped into for the past few years.
Loving myself doesn’t mean choosing to eat in a way that hurts my body. Loving myself doesn’t mean choosing to beat myself up about my food choices. Loving myself doesn’t mean hating my body.
And loving myself means understanding that I work better with a plan. Not a nebulous intuitive eating plan – though that is my ultimate goal. Instead, I have to make a plan for food and a plan for intentional movement. And I have to track my adherence to plan. My plan equals my boundaries.
I’m starting over and the difference this time is that I want each and every change to become my default position. That means baby steps.